Communication has always played a key role in our lives. It helps us
develop, express our points of view, find new opportunities, cognize the
surroundings and the essence of human nature. You’ll never reach
harmony with the world and people around, until you develop good
communication skills, because you’re a part of society.
I believe that every human being can master the art of communication,
no matter what social position they have. But what does it mean to have
good communication skills? People with excellent communication and
listening skills should show empathy for others, keep eye contact, treat
others with respect and focus on what the interlocutor is saying. All
these qualities of a good listener and communicator will help you build
successful relationships, earn the respect of others and prepossess
people.
Those who do more listening than talking and catch the meaning of the
conversation at once, are worth their weight in gold. If everyone did
their best to care, listen, communicate and support, then this world
would be much better. Just look around and you’ll see thousands of both
lonely and, at first glance, happy people who want to be heard and
understood. Read on and you’ll realize that good listening skills and
various psychological tricks can work miracles and improve interpersonal
relationships.
1. Listen empathetically
No matter how you slice it, but we live in a harsh and indifferent
world where everyone tends to stay away from negativity. Sure, it’s good
for your health and emotional well-being, but you’ll never build
successful relationships and make friends, if you don’t help and support
other people.
If you want to become a good listener and gain confidence and
respect, learn how to listen with empathy. Have you ever heard something
about empathetic listening? This kind of listening is an ability to
communicate with understanding, empathy and see the sorrow in the eyes
of the interlocutor even when they hide their genuine feelings.
Just do it sincerely, for the interlocutor to believe that your
empathy isn’t fake. Otherwise, the person who’s unburdened their heart
can get easily offended. Try to put yourself in their place and you’ll
have a chance to understand their feelings and emotions. Such a gesture
will significantly increase the speaker’s confidence and self-esteem.
2. Stay tight-lipped
If people confide their secrets to you, it means that they
wholeheartedly trust you and rely on your help. In my opinion, people
who keep someone’s secrets have no moral right to divulge them. If you
want to prepossess people, you should have a perfect reputation. You
should keep in mind that too loose-tongued personalities usually have
bad reputation, because no one respects the ones who can’t imagine their
lives without wagging their tongues and spreading gossips.
Besides preserving secrecy and keeping your lips sealed, it’s
desirable to exchange secrets with the interlocutor you fully trust and
respect. This will increase the level of confidence and trust in your
interpersonal relationship. You’ll get on the right side of the person
you want in the twinkling of an eye.
3. Speak less, listen more
While chatting, prioritize listening. When one of your friends calls
you up and initiates a conversation, it means that they want to share
their issues with you and receive a valuable advice instead of absorbing
your portion of problems and negativity.
Your task is to focus on the interlocutor and listen carefully to
everything they say. Pay attention to their words, gestures, emotions
and eyes. By all means, don’t interrupt, but give the interlocutor an
opportunity to speak their mind. This way, you’ll have time and chance
to process and analyze what they’re talking about. When the interlocutor
is making pauses, you can answer and present your point of view. Don’t
believe the ones who say that silence or listening is the choice of
incompetent and weak people. It’s a sign of strength, wisdom, intellect
and self-control.
4. Get rid of anxiety and inner tension
It’s not necessary to be an inborn leader or powerful political
figure to win social respect. The main thing is to be emotionally strong
and maintain a sense of inner balance. If you’re good at suppressing
negative emotions and behave as if everything is chronically okay,
you’ll reach many goals and have a good professional reputation.
But you should know that many highly successful personalities are
perfect psychologists who can easily notice fear or anxiety in your eyes
during the conversation. They usually listen to their intuition and
inner voice, so there’s a high probability that one day they’ll doubt
the sincerity of your words and intentions.
In such a case, neither speaking nor listening will help you persuade
the interlocutor that your inner tension isn’t a sign of deception. I
know that it’s difficult to smile friendly and act naturally when
terrible fear and anxiety are running through your veins. If you’re
extremely emotional and sensitive listener by nature, you should
dedicate enough time to relaxation and make an attempt to find inner
peace in your life. As soon as you bid farewell to fears and replace
your negative mindset by a positive one, you’ll always leave a good
impression on the interlocutors.
5. A bit of constructive criticism is allowed
I don’t know why, but today many people don’t put up with criticism
and believe that unpleasant remarks and judgments are used to discredit
each other and stab their reputations. It’s nothing else, but a
stereotype. Highly intelligent and confident personalities treat
criticism as an essential part of their lives. It motivates and inspires
them to move on and develop regardless of everything.
I’ve noticed that a bit of constructive criticism don’t spoil the
conversation or make mischief between the interlocutors, but on the
contrary, prove that you’re a frank, honest and independent person who’s
really interested in the interlocutor’s success and personal growth.
Furthermore, the others will see that people-pleasing, flattery and
fawning isn’t your pair of shoes. But you should be careful with
criticism, because sometimes this beneficial and developmental thing can
serve as a weapon. If you don’t know when it’s appropriate, then you
should wait a little with criticism.
6. Avoid distractions
Almost every modern human being has a cell phone and other gadgets.
It seems people pay too much attention to virtual communication. Even
when they have face-to-face conversations, they’re often interrupted by
sudden calls or messages. As a result, they receive and answer text
messages during the conversation. This behavior is a sign of disrespect,
though.
If you want to be a good listener, you should treat the person you’re
listening to with respect. It means that you should avoid or limit all
possible distractions during the conversation. Just switch your cell
phone to silent mode for 5 or 10 minutes and you’ll have an opportunity
to discuss all necessary topics and prepossess the interlocutor.
7. Don’t fear to ask questions
If you decide to speak less and listen more, then it’s necessary to
ask questions to show the interlocutor that the topic under
consideration is interesting and you’re engaged. Psychologists recommend
asking open-ended questions instead of Yes or NO ones. They’ll help you
revive the conversation and receive detailed answers to the things
you’re interested in.
Try not to overwhelm the interlocutor with questions. Otherwise, your
pleasant conversation can quickly turn into an interrogation. Be sure
that they’re correct and tactful, because the conversation can take an
unexpected direction and become strained.
People will never reach mutual understanding, until they learn to
listen. The more you listen, the more chances to hear the truth you
have. Do you believe that good listening skills can make you highly
successful and authoritative person? We’d like to know your point of
view!
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